Yell'er

The Lord has been good to me. Somehow He has flipped the switch, and I am back in control of this blasted eating issue!  It seems like when I am off, I am a crazy mess. When I am on, nothing can stop me! Even pregnant, I believed that it was impossible for me to eat with self-control, but the Lord has done the impossible.  All praise be to God!

Having a plan in place has helped immensely. For instance, today I went to Burger King with my homegirls for lunch. I was excited to figure out what I could eat within the boundaries of my plan. That made it so that I had no trouble eating only what was on the list.

I have to be honest, I am tired again and having what feels like hot flashes on occasion. I'm not sure if it is the sudden change in eating or the new flood of hormones attributed the third trimester. I have to believe that eating a balanced diet and exercising is a blessing for this baby and in no way a curse.

So far, smooth sailing! Woohoo!! Thank you for praying and standing by me in this journey!!

Lvb

The Journey

One more signal regarding God's will for my eating habits came this week, when I failed my glucose test.  I sat in the doctors office for three hours today making a plan of action.

I don't want to have gestational diabetes. I do, however, need some accountability. After my sister went through all of that, it really opened my eyes to the danger it can be to the baby. Just being borderline has been another reality check that may have been enough to shake me out of my gluttonous stupor.

After my appointment, I stocked up on some high protein staple snacks and calculated a plan.

I would have had a great day on the plan if I didn't have to drink the 450 calorie glucola first thing this morning. On the flip side, being over the calorie cutoff forced me to get on the treadmill. I still need to eat a snack later!

Pray for me, that I will crave the love of our precious Lord more than I crave Brachs royals caramel candies. 

Lvb

Made to Crave

I have been bemoaning my insurgent weight gain for months; it came at me in such a hurry after my big loss.  I know I have complete control of this thing, but I feel out of control.

So I have sort of been rolling around in my mind the necessity of cutting out sugar. It's silly, really.  I love sugar. I mean, I look forward to it after every meal and between each chore of my daily life. When I get up, when I go to bed, when it's cloudy or sunny. When I feel an emotion, any emotion... I sort of live for it. It's moderately become a problem. But I have considered giving it up.

The thing is, I am pretty sure I can't do it. I have tried with minimal success. And why should I? Unless God is asking it of me.

Maybe you think I am nuts. The reality is that when God speaks He confirms His voice in other ways, right? So last weekend my sweet mother-in-law brought me the book Made to Crave. 

I started reading it at the doctor's office. It's basically about replacing your food cravings  with God through prayer and Bible study and desperation for Him.  At the end of each chapter there are questions to ask yourself.

Questions like, "How would you like to have an accountability partner to help you stop eating the wrong foods?"

No. I wouldn't like it.

"Why?"

Because I don't think it will work.

"Why not?"

Because I don't think I can and I don't want to stop. I like eating more than you know. More than I know.

I almost cried on the way homefrom the doctor's office.  It's ridiculous.  Would God really ask this of me? While I am pregnant even? Does it matter to Him, honestly? Am I really that addicted?

I know it's God, too. He wants me to make this change. I have been wrestling with the question of whether it has become a sin or not. Apparently it has.

Writing this even scares me. I don't know if I can change. I am going to ask God to help me. I may cry. I can't imagine never eating sugar again. I love it. So much.

Pray for Me.
Lvb